April Fool’s Day: Top 10 Greatest Pop Culture Mysteries

You’ve had these questions, and you’ve been asking them for all these years. Here’s the list of the Top 10 Pop Culture Mysteries. Maybe I don’t have all the answers, but I have all the questions.

1. Which Tom H. will be crowned the next King of Hollywood?!

Tom Hanks

In the mid-1990’s, Tom Hanks claimed the throne of Hollywood by winning three best actor Academy Awards in a row for his roles in Philadelphia, Forest Gump, and Toy Story. At this point, it was recognized that there would be a new King of Hollywood.

Perhaps cinematic masterpiece Toy Story 3 was the peak of the Hanks dynasty, and Hollywood is gradually ushering in the next Tom H. who will rule next. However, it seems that there is some competition. Two English actors, Tom Hiddleston and Tom Hardy, seem to be in contention for the throne. In the year that comic book movies became like super popular, they both played villains; Loki in The Avengers and Bane in The Dark Knight Rises. Hardy’s role was a one-off, but Hiddleston has been a mainstay in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and is one of the more enjoyable parts of the Thor films. Not to be topped, Hardy had a career year in 2015, starring in Mad Max: Fury Road, The Revenant, and playing twins in Legend for an audience of 25 people. Both of these actors are at the top of their game, and perhaps we’ll see one take control of Hollywood. But then again, there’s always Tom Holland.

2. What was the end of Tyrion’s story?!

pop culture mysteries 5

In Game of Thrones, there are four great mysteries: who will be on the Iron Throne at the end of all this madness, who is Jon Snow’s Mother, when will Winter come, and how does Tyrion’s story end?

No, not his story overall; just the super fascinating story he tells at his trial. In this scene, found in Season 1 Episode 6, Tyrion “confesses his crimes” he tells the story of all the heinous pranks that helps give a privileged look into one of Westeros’ most fascinating characters.

He talks about a time when he filled someone’s shoes with goat feces, or stole a bathing woman’s clothes. But towards the end of his faux-confession, he begins a story that captures viewers:

“I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel…”

But before Tyrion can delve fully into this riveting story, Lady Arryn silences him. Lady Arryn’s son asks quietly, “What happened next?” but she ushers the trial onto a much more boring topic, like finding out who murdered her husband. Tyrion had not told the rest of this story in the 44 episodes since then; however, writer George R.R. Martin is well known for his careful continuity and desire to resolve all the mysteries of the series.

Speaking of Game of Thrones…

3. Is it a part of the actors contract for Game of Thrones to star in a really bad movie?

pop culture mysteries 1.png

There’s not enough evidence to refute this. Look at any actor in the main cast. Emilia Clarke? Terminator: Genisys. Peter Dinklage? Pixels. Kit Harrington? Pompeii. Natalie Dormer? The Forest. Lena Headey? The Purge. Look at Nikolaj-Coster Waldau, who plays Jamie; you probably thought he was safe, but then Gods of Egypt came along. You’d think A-lister Sean Bean would be above all this, but then Jupiter Ascending proved us all wrong.

Actor Jack Gleeson who played King Joffrey stepped down from acting in major television and film roles – some say he did this to focus on his career as a stage actor, but we all know that he really did this because

I don’t know if there’s a correlation here, but it seems like bad news for Sansa Stark actor Sophie Turner, who will be in X-Men: Apocalypse later this year.

4. Why was Young Justice cancelled?

2016 Feb 3

Seriously, why? As covered in the February entry of Captain’s Log, There’s only speculation as to why this lovely series might have been cancelled; some say it’s because Cartoon Network execs didn’t want to have a female audience watching the show, some say it’s because the action figures weren’t selling enough, and still others say it’s because they hate fun and everything good in the world. Perhaps we’ll never know.

 

 

5. Is DDL actually American?

Daniel Day Lewis was born and raised in London, England, United Kingdom, though some theories put forth that he is actually of American birth. (Citation.)

pop culture mysteries 4

Simply put, there is no comprehensible way that English actors could possibly put on a convincing performance as such American icons as Bill the Butcher in Gangs of New York or Abraham Lincoln in the biopic Abraham. (Wait, no, it’s titled Lincoln.)

Look at other great performances of iconic Americans: Selma featured red-blooded American David Oyelowo as Martin Luther King Jr., or Game of Thrones actor Stephen Dillane playing President Thomas Jefferson. Both bring lively tenacity to the characters that we know so well from our history books, such as only an American could. This extends to fictional characters. Batman, Superman, Spiderman? All American. Christian Bale, Henry Cavill, and Andrew Garfield? All American. I rest my case.

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By this point you’ve hopefully realized that this is a work of satire. All of the “mysteries” are rather silly questions. (Except for the one about Young Justice. That one still really bothers me.)  On this website, I try pretty staunchly to publish content that does not usually include listicles. (The cruel irony being that my most successful post on this blog, though it does not include a number in the title, was a listicle.) Note that Watchmojo.com, a YouTube page which seems mostly devoted to Top 10’s, that has 11 Million subscribers. Why? I don’t know. It seems as though if you just throw a number in the title of the article or video, it automatically garners more views.

There’s some listicles that will just be “27 things about…” or “34 thoughts that go through your head when…” as though these people don’t even try. It’s great that the internet has opened the floor to millions of people to write, but it’s as though the only way they write is something with numbers. Is this better? Is this worse? I don’t know, I suppose it’s just indicative of the internet.

Anyhow, Happy April Fool’s Day!

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